What the Lobster Taught Me About Growth

What the Lobster Taught Me About Growth

What the Lobster Taught Me About Growth

Someone very wise told me the story of the Lobster the other day, and it resonated in THAT way. The delightful metaphorical tidbit way- one that triggers a deep thinker’s rabbit hole journey fuelled by hyper-focus. 

 

Thoughts? There were a few, so if you fancy a little trip with me, read on…

Lobsters grow, and they outgrow their shell. The shell is rigid, and as the lobster’s body expands, the shell becomes a constricting cage, causing pressure and discomfort. 

So, our dear lobster undergoes a transformation, and the moulting process begins. There’s no tidy version of this. The shell cracks; they wriggle out, soft and defenceless, until a new shell forms and hardens around them. Scientists believe it is a painful process. 

But here’s the thing, that shell is armour. Protection. It’s the barrier that’s kept them alive. Molting is dangerous. Without a shell, they are vulnerable. During that time, they don’t go about their business. They don’t carry on as usual. They tuck themselves away, vanishing under rocks, into crevices, away from threat. 

This part gave me pause. 

Because when I’m in a season of change, a real one, the slow kind or the painful kind, I expect myself to keep going. To stay visible. To explain myself. To be productive while I’m vulnerable. I don’t always protect my energy. Sometimes, I wear a makeshift shell, one that camouflages perfectly into the background of the day-to-day. What can I say? I’m a work in progress. 

Maybe you’re in one of those chapters of your life story now; the soft, the in-between or uncertain. Maybe your old life got too tight. Or maybe your life cracked open, and now there’s space you don’t know how to fill. 

Just like the lobster, humans go it alone a lot of the time. I think we are conditioned to do this in many ways. Let’s be real; the solo journey is one we all undertake at some point: the dark night of the soul, the forty days in the desert. Our Eat Pray Love seasons. Our rediscovery or healing time. But we’re not wired to stay that way forever. 

We are wired for closeness. Evolution taught us that to survive, we need each other not just in joy but in fragility. So, while we might long for stillness and solitude, we’re not built to disappear completely or for all times of hardship. Which means our version of hiding can look a little different.

Well, that wasn’t enough for my noggin. What do other species do in times of trouble or growth?

How do they protect what matters? I did some research, with David Attenborough’s dulcet tones to keep me company. My belief was reinforced: nature carries its own profound wisdom. 

Elephants, for example, form a circle around the mother when she’s giving birth. They literally shield her with their bodies. And afterwards, they stay nearby. They hold that space fiercely.

Gorillas hold the space. If one is grieving, others will sit close. They’ll groom gently, stay nearby, and make themselves known. As if to say: You don’t have to do anything. I’ll be here anyway.

Elephants and what Lobsters taught me about growth
Dolphins and what Lobsters Taught me about growth.

Dolphins are one of the most striking examples of this in the wild.

If a dolphin is injured, sick, and unable to swim or surface properly, others in the pod will surround it.

They take turns swimming beneath the dolphin, lifting it gently to the surface so it can breathe. They do this for hours, even days, whatever time is needed. They don’t abandon the slow or weak; they hold them up, literally, until they can manage on their own. 

How utterly heart sparkly is that? I loved Dolphins before, but now they hold a new kind of magic. 



 

Meerkats offer another kind of care, living in tight-knit groups; they survive by working together. 

One meerkat will always stand guard. It climbs to a high point and keeps watch while the others forage, rest, or tend to their young. If it spots danger, it sounds the alarm, and the whole mob scatters to safety. That sentinel role rotates. No one is always on duty, and no one is allowed to go without rest. They take turns keeping each other safe. Family is survival. 

Just like the lobster, the bear often goes it alone. Hibernation is in solitude, except for Mammas and cubs. Their bodies shut down what isn’t needed so energy can go where it’s most essential. They don’t socialise, they don’t forage. It’s a full retreat. 

There’s wisdom in all of it.

Some seasons require solitude. Others ask for trust, the kind that feels like someone is closely guarding you while you figure things out or lifting the load a little. 

Meerkats and what Lobsters Taught me about growth.

Sometimes, we might need to trust someone to see us without our shells because being fragile is okay. Or perhaps being gentle with ourselves while our new shell grows is a kind act. 

To know when to reach for connection and when to let your nervous system be held by silence, earth, and time. The delicate space between being alone and feeling abandoned is nuanced. 

Because the truth is, our growth journeys aren’t the same. The shape of your becoming will be different from mine. Some of us need stillness. Some need movement. Some need to be held, while others need to disappear and come back only when the new shell is ready.

That paradox is where we live.

The dolphin lifts.

The meerkat watches.

The bear rests.

The gorilla stays close.

The elephant surrounds.

Isn’t that something? 

If our life, our experience, is getting uncomfortable, are we being called to grow? Nature tells us yes. 

What will this new version of us look like?

I must admit the idea of going and hiding under a rock appeals to my hermit side more than a little. What about you? 

“Connection with each other, while we walk our own path, is as important as our state of being… The two cannot be separated but must be parallel and singular. The paradox is the balance of the two.”Vignettes of the Possibly Dying. 

PS- To P, thank you always for your wisdom, humour and warmth. 

More blogs & Essays

Sweet Sadness and Skittles

Sweet Sadness and Skittles

My brain is a busy and complex ideas factory. It rebels and runs in different directions. Meditation and being in flow help to tame it…sometimes.

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We acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we work, the Kulin peoples. We pay our respect to elders past present and emerging, we acknowledge and and all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders. The land we on which we live, breathe, work, eat and sleep always was and always will be Aboriginal land. KB Eliza supports the

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A Grimm History, And They Ain’t Disney Tales

A Grimm History, And They Ain’t Disney Tales

A Grimm History, And They Ain’t Disney Tales

Folklore tropes and historical storytelling first hooked me at university, where my naïve heart discovered that the bedtime canon is a crime scene in disguise.

Little Red Riding Hood as it turns out in a few variations, was a fair maiden tricked into eating Nanna steaks quicker than you can say: Fava Beans and nice Chianti. Enticed to perform a striptease for the seductive wolf, all because the poor lass stopped to smell the flowers. Lesson: beware the cunning gentleman and always obey your parents.

That rude awakening blew the icing sugar off every cupcake I’d been told about fairy tales, and I’ve been sweeping up the crumbs ever since.

To the people who told them, those tales were treasured folklore, shared at firesides, weddings, harvest feasts, and long winter nights, carrying communal identity, gallows humour, superstition and hard-won advice. They evolved and changed, adapted and merged like all stories. But modern readers inherit them through the double filter of the Brothers Grimm and the Disney corporation.

Curious? Read on, but be warned; it contains some gruesome tidbits and is not for the faint of heart.

The Brothers Grimm KB ELIZA

The Brothers Grimm, Jacob and Wilhelm, were court librarians and academics turned linguists, collected ancient folk tales, tweaked them and went on to publish Kinder- und Hausmärchen in 1812 to bottle what they called the Volksgeist, the people’s spirit.

Their first edition was filled with tales of cannibal mothers, sexual violence, mutilated toes and red-hot iron shoes. Reviewers were horrified.

Take Cinderella. Long before mice could harmonise, the German Aschenputtel left its heroine praying at her mother’s grave while a white dove shook down gowns of silver and gold. There is no fairy godmother; the magic grows from grief.

At the slipper test one stepsister hacks off her toes, the other her heel; blood betrays them, and wedding doves later peck out their eyes (Tatar 2003). Disney kept the slipper but traded ancestral pain for a genial wand and a blue ball gown. Agency slips away with the amputated toes.

Sleeping Beauty fares no better.

Giambattista Basile’s Neapolitan version, Sun, Moon and Talia (1634), puts its heroine into a catatonic sleep, then lets a wandering king assault her; twins are born, and she wakes only when one infant sucks a flax splinter from her finger.

Perrault toned the assault into an ambiguous kiss but retained a cannibal ogress mother-in-law. The Grimms’ Little Briar Rose shaved off the assault, twins and ogress, leaving a neat century-long snooze that ends when the clock, not a princely kiss, says so.

Disney re-injected a kiss, christened evil Maleficent and unleashed a dragon. Romance sells; dynastic violation does not.

Snow White began as a tale of beauty consumed by envy literally.

In the 1812 Grimm text, the queen demands Snow White’s lungs and liver for supper, then strangles the girl with a laced bodice and finishes her off with a poisoned comb before luring her to eat a poisoned apple.

A prince purchases the glass coffin; his servants stumble, the apple dislodges, Snow White lives, and the queen is forced to dance in red-hot shoes until she dies (Warner 1996).

The dwarves? Historians guess Dopey and Grumpy were actually child miners. Disney shaved the story clean: the cannibal hunger, the torture dance, and the coffin commerce vanish, replaced by a quick kiss and a cliff tumble.

 

Briar Rose Sleeping KB ELIza The Grimm Bros
Brothers Grimm Blog, wolf cooking steak, little red riding hood

Not every Disney classic is a Grimm Bro production.

Hans Christian Andersen’s Little Mermaid (1837) is more edgy and existential. Andersen’s mermaid swaps her tongue for legs that feel like knives, fails to win the prince, refuses murder to save herself and dissolves into sea foam, rewarded only with the hope of an immortal soul.

Disney ditches the knives and the foam, restores her voice, slays the sea witch and crowns a royal wedding amid fireworks. The mermaid’s sacrificial longing becomes teenage self-expression choreographed by a Caribbean crab.

Wait for it…Beauty and the Beast is essentially a Stockholm Syndrome / Arranged Marriage tale from 1740.

Coined as a French romance by writer Madame de Villeneuve’ it was later shortened by Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont. In both, Belle is bartered to settle her father’s debt and agrees to marriage out of filial duty, praying the beast’s gentleness will outlast his power.

Disney’s 1991 version neutralises the transaction, recasts captivity as heroic self-sacrifice and marshals singing crockery to explain that love cures abuse.

Don’t even get me started on Hansel and Gretel. You think a witch trying to fatten up a little boy is gruesome? Want the real tea? The Great Famine of Medieval times had parents eating or abandoning their kids in the forest. Sheesh.

So, why file down the teeth?

For most of European history, children were treated as small, inexperienced adults. Hard labour was expected of children, death rates were high, and children received the same punishments as their elders.

The early Industrial Revolution swept in, bringing rising wages, cheaper food and new child labour laws that hauled youngsters off factory floors and into classrooms and nurseries.

Once kids were seen as little people to be cherished rather than tiny wage-earners, society insisted its folktales get a soft-focus makeover—so the Brothers Grimm bowed to middle-class morality and gave the old stories a kind of Tarantino-meets-Tim-Burton rewrite.

Nineteenth-century publishers needed tales that reinforced obedience, Christian virtue and patriarchal order for an emerging bourgeois audience. Twentieth-century studios needed marketable heroines, clear villains, catchy songs and plush toys. Moral complexity doesn’t fit on a lunch box lid.

Fast forward to 2025, here we are streaming splatter-series before breakfast, binging true-crime podcasts on the commute.

Dear reader, a century of colonial sanitising and candy-coated fairy tales never cured our human appetite for darkness. You don’t have to look very far to see that the tropes and archetypes of old are alive and well.

Disney’s castles still glitter, but listen closely, and you will hear the crunch of bones beneath the stone floors. Behind every slipper, spindle and apple, the old shadows flicker, muttering that enchantment never comes free and the safest path through the forest is never entirely safe.

Let’s face it, the world would be a little more beige without Sebastian and Mrs. Potts. I’ve been to Disneyland; it is the Happiest Place on Earth- I totally agree. But as for the patriarchal princes rescuing the princesses? Well, that’s a blog for another day…

 

The image depicts the Brothers Grimm, an artists impression
Brothers Grimm Image

Works Cited

Tatar, M. (2003) The Hard Facts of the Grimms’ Fairy Tales. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.

Available at: https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Hard_Facts_of_the_Grimms_Fairy_Tales.html?id=lTtMH_ezI4UC(Accessed: 6 May 2025). Google Books

Warner, M. (1996) From the Beast to the Blonde: On Fairy Tales and Their Tellers. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.Available at: https://books.google.com/books/about/From_the_Beast_to_the_Blonde.html?id=B8NO-T2lOqMC(Accessed: 6 May 2025). Google Books

Zipes, J. (2002) Breaking the Magic Spell: Radical Theories of Folk and Fairy Tales (rev. ed.). Lexington, KY: University Press of Kentucky. Available at: https://books.google.com/books/about/Breaking_the_Magic_Spell.html?id=SGY1EAAAQBAJ (Accessed: 6 May 2025). Google Books

Bettelheim, B. (1989) The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales. New York: Vintage Books.Available at: https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Uses_of_Enchantment.html?id=7WiODQAAQBAJ (Accessed: 6 May 2025). Google Books

Pullman, P. (2012) Fairy Tales from the Brothers Grimm: A New English Version. London: Viking. Available at: https://books.google.com/books/about/Fairy_Tales_from_the_Brothers_Grimm.html?id=HBb-gj7vqWYC (Accessed: 6 May 2025)

More blogs & Essays

Sweet Sadness and Skittles

Sweet Sadness and Skittles

My brain is a busy and complex ideas factory. It rebels and runs in different directions. Meditation and being in flow help to tame it…sometimes.

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We acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we work, the Kulin peoples. We pay our respect to elders past present and emerging, we acknowledge and and all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders. The land we on which we live, breathe, work, eat and sleep always was and always will be Aboriginal land. KB Eliza supports the

 ULURU STATEMENT FROM THE HEART.

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Sweet Sadness and Skittles

Sweet Sadness and Skittles

My brain is a busy and complex ideas factory. It can be rebellious. Meditation and being in flow help to tame it…sometimes. 

Neurodivergence has become a buzzword I can now employ with relief. It covers so much. It saves me from explaining my energy, my shift in attention, and random pop-up conversations. My loved ones will argue that an Acquired Brain Injury didn’t start that, it was always there. 

My conversations with loved ones are like a blender full of Skittles with the lid off. Often, this results in them being either bemused or baffled. Either way, small talk isn’t my strong point. It makes me cross-eyed. 

Do you ever struggle with writing prompts or ideas? Sometimes, people ask where my wild writing ideas come from.

They ask if I ever hit that dreaded writer’s block. Spoiler alert: Nope, it never happens! 

I have had stories and abstract ideas filling my mind for as long as I can remember. Using the written word to explore, explain, and create is all I have known. A psychologist will probably tell you this was my way of streamlining meaning. 

Dusty archive boxes are piled up in my back office. They hold journals and scrap paper. I think there might be a napkin or two with scribbles. There are many observations, the start of stories, and ideas. 

In 2012, I underwent my first brain surgery for an aneurysm. It was very intense, and the lingering threat of mortality has followed me to this day. A paradoxical gift of sorts, which I know sounds ironic and isn’t lost on me. That particular tale is long. 

But, to get back to the point of writing (I do go off on tangents. Sometimes, I even interrupt myself), how do I begin? Well, as an avid pen-to-paper addict, I will often get my feelings out of my head by writing them down. Or I may hear a story and reflect on it. But, when I am writing it down, I will think of the most unique or accurate way to explain the feeling. 

My imagination is an unruly creature, like a browser with too many tabs open. But as I get older and earn the small wrinkles around my eyes, I see that these traits are the mark of the creative writer. Or a few words will come to mind. I will play with them. This often happens when I write poetry. Two words collide and sound lyrical, and we’re off and away. 

The StoryTellers Nook

This phase of my life birthed Vignettes of the Possibly Dying, my first published poems.

I always kept the most intimate and vulnerable experiences and writing to myself. Yet, it was from here that the most fulfilling poetry sprung. I would see certain sentences. They would jump out at me. I would reshape them into prose, poetry, and broader concepts, they became Vignettes of a bigger story. 

For me, writing is like painting, I suppose, or being a potter with words. You mix the colours, and you play with the clay. Your audience or reader may turn their heads this way and that with an “I don’t get it” look. Or their eyes may get misty, and they’ll tell you they felt that deep down to their toes. They may like the lumpy and weird clay pot they hold in their hand, or they may put it down with disinterest. 

The piece below captures an evening well over seven years ago. The memory remains sharply etched, and I can still smell the rain. One of the little characters in it has now passed, and as I edited it, my eyes leaked. Because sometimes dogs aren’t really dogs, right? 

Bittersweet nostalgia, existential awareness, love, and fear overwhelmed me. Faith underpinned this strange emotional mix. I also vividly remember as I was writing, what does this death threat feel like? If it was a fairy tale creature, it would be a vicious thing smashing through to steal my children’s mother. 

I hope you find something to hold in your hand. Either way, thanks for reading! 

xx KB 

Walking in the rain KB ELIZA blog image

Sadness rises to the top tonight, so I walk in the rain.

 

Misunderstood, I need the solitude of the night air. Tears come. The traffic and noise of others during the week, then the silence of others, is annihilating. Bitterness and anger repel me. They invade my space, where the skin is thin. The armadillo has rolled over and shown its soft underbelly. 

What once was sclerotic is now sheer.

The threat of death rings an alarm bell at times. My skin morphs and thins to contain the growing emotions. I cannot expose my family to this bleakness, and so I walk. 

I wrap my coat around me, and memories of home seep in. I want to sit in the grass again. To feel all that love and lack of pain. I want to feel the love that fills me to the edge of forever until I will explode. 

 

I don’t want this threat to grow. I don’t want this threat of me leaving growling at my children and husband like a gnarled dragon ready to grind their bones with mordant teeth.

I didn’t want the dragon, but I brought it home with me. An unwilling master, it seems. Trying hard to turn it into a puppy but failing. 

I’m fending it off with this sword, this positivity that glows in my hand. But my arms are so weak. I’m exhausted from swinging the weight of it. My muscles ache, so tired. Seven years of holding it high make the tendons tear a little. 

I don’t want. What do I want? This concept feels like trying to capture a comet in a thimble. 

When rain hits my face, instead of covering it, I hold it up to the rain, offering my skin to its touch. I imagine the journey of the rain. It begins as moisture from the mountains and the air. The moisture accumulates in the clouds and becomes so eager to reach the earth again that it falls. This is God.

This is nature. The design is captivating and poetry in action. All the sadness evaporates like water on a hot road. It cannot stay contained when I feel close to God.

A gentle voice within me murmurs: you’re already safe within castle walls. My shoulders relax.

 

A dragon image for KB ELiza Blog

The next day, it comes again in waves. The writing studio beckons along with my record player. The sweet melodies of Jeff Buckley drift around the room, then Yann Tiersen. 

Two little scruffs resembling dogs come in. Their speckled fur, paired with mismatched ears, one floppy and one alert. These two are not regal; they are hilarious, like a pair of old men with achy joints and antisocial farting at the worst moments. Knights of the table, they tell each other jokes, I am sure and laugh at themselves. I often catch their secret looks and sideways glances at each other.

But tonight, they are serious. They are in protection mode. I have placed cushions, the very best ones, near the door. 

Each of them drags the pillows closer to my feet. I concentrate, aware of their presence, as love radiates towards me. I move jigsaw pieces around the table.

The love has balanced, I needed to be still enough to feel it. 

This is how the restoration happens. 

pencil sketch for KB ELiza blog

More blogs & Essays

Sweet Sadness and Skittles

Sweet Sadness and Skittles

My brain is a busy and complex ideas factory. It rebels and runs in different directions. Meditation and being in flow help to tame it…sometimes.

Schedule an Event

media@kbeliza.com

We acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we work, the Kulin peoples. We pay our respect to elders past present and emerging, we acknowledge and and all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders. The land we on which we live, breathe, work, eat and sleep always was and always will be Aboriginal land. KB Eliza supports the

 ULURU STATEMENT FROM THE HEART.

Contact Author

media@kbeliza.com

Little Mouse

Little Mouse

Little Mouse by KB Eliza

Little Mouse

This essay was inspired by Plato’s Cave, with a dash of country town childhood and swift growth after severe life changing moments. This has been a favourite for readers and as always, everyone seems to get their own story from it. With love x

There was a little mouse, who was a kind and happy mouse, always looking after the other mice.

One day her leg broke. Then she had three legs instead of four. She was sick for a very long time and lived in a cold little hole in a wall with bugs. The doctor mouse told her she would never recover. Never is a very big word for a small mouse. Many of the other mice were scared to come near her, for they were worried they might get sick too, but most of all they didn’t want to feel her sadness. The little mouse became lonely.

This made her very glum. 

One night the little mouse looked out from her hole and saw hope hanging from the sky like a star. She put her little paws up and held the image of it in her heart and part of her believed she captured some. The next day she woke up and decided not to give up. She believed goodness was coming her way. She had the days when she cried, and felt her feelings. Then the day arrived when her heart filled to the brim with sunshine, like a basket of peaches and fond thoughts of tomorrow. It was like a rainbow. 

 

Then one day, her miracle arrived. Her sickness faded. Her pale fur became brown again. She felt glorious and so very grateful. For a miracle is scarce and a super special thing indeed. She said her prayers and gave thanks, and the most wonderful things began to happen. She found a new hole to live in with no bugs, it was cosy and warm. 

 

She was faster than ever on her three legs and with good use of her tail, she was quicker than the other mice. Watch her go! The other mice would exclaim as she flew by like lightning. This prosperity was a welcome gift. 

 

Then the strangest thing happened. One day those she held dear no longer came out of their holes. A great hunger overcame them. Hiding away they ate and ate, they ate their feet, their little mouse tails and their memories until they all became too big and got stuck. 

 

Aghast the little mouse missed them, and she begged them to come outside. She tried to sing to them, she left food outside for them to nibble on, but the only thing they would cry out was –Where’s Mine? 

They were happy for the little mouse, but they were hungry too, miracles are the very best of feasts and how their tummies rumbled. For no one resents a miracle, but everyone starves for one also. 

 

The little mouse became lonely again, and no longer wanted to be separate. So she tucked herself into her petite mouse house, and scratched and nibbled away at the miracle until it was all worn and nobody noticed it anymore. In between bites, she whispered to the other mice between the walls. They talked about mouse things, nothing at all special. She was so busy doing this, bugs snuck into her house and started making a mess. 

She forgot about her gift.

She no longer had a calamity.

She no longer had prosperity.

She wanted to feel safe.

 

 

She might have stayed there forever. But something niggled at her little mouse heart. It wasn’t a shout, because the best niggles always start out quiet. The niggle told her that staying there and forgetting her miracle was very wrong. 

SO SHE DID WHAT ALL BRAVE LITTLE MICE DO, SHE PACKED UP, PUT SOME hope in her pocket and set out for an adventure.

Because adventures aren’t always easy, but they always show their worth it in the end.

IMore Blogs & Essays

Sweet Sadness and Skittles

Sweet Sadness and Skittles

My brain is a busy and complex ideas factory. It rebels and runs in different directions. Meditation and being in flow help to tame it…sometimes.

Schedule an Event

media@kbeliza.com

We acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we work, the Kulin peoples. We pay our respect to elders past present and emerging, we acknowledge and and all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders. The land we on which we live, breathe, work, eat and sleep always was and always will be Aboriginal land. KB Eliza supports the

 ULURU STATEMENT FROM THE HEART.

Contact Author

media@kbeliza.com

The Battle At Trauma Glen

The Battle At Trauma Glen

The Battle At Trauma Glen

There is nothing quite like the use of metaphor to really set a scene, and the monster battle trope felt right with this essay. This is an excerpt from Vignettes of The Possibly Dying. I hope you enjoy. 

She ties the sash of red around her waist; the tassels are like the last strands of faith hanging at her hip along with her Grand- mother’s voice.

A pouch is tied to her belt. Her heart is beating fast. The task before her is crushing. She pushes through the bracken and branches the soft murky ground sponges beneath her feet. Finally, the branches thin out, and she can see the cabin clearly in front of her. 

HER EYES SCAN ACROSS THE FAMILIAR TRIMMED HEDGE, SUNLIGHT dusting small beams through the leafy branches. The milky yellow porch posts and the duck blue window frames remain picture-perfect; the large french doors are darkened by overhanging ivy and jasmine. The glossy white weatherboard cladding contrasts with the brass frog door knocker; its mouth is stretched too wide with the hammer in the shape of a distended tongue resting on the Lilypad struck plate. 

Her stomach acid turns cold and rises in her throat. She takes a deep breath, and as she exhales, her breath turns to fog. The skin on her arms prickles. She glances over her shoulder, and her long dark curly hair is damp now from sweat. The muscles next to her lip twitch on one side as she raises a flat palm to touch her thumb to her forehead then brings it down to her heart. She is ready. 

SHE STEPS UP ON THE PORCH BOARDS, AND THE LACK OF NOISE IS jarring. She holds the door handle, and the cool of the metal adds to the chill. The door swings open silently, not even a groan. She feels like she is walking through a hole in a nest. 

SHE WALKS INSIDE AND WAITS, LEAVING THE DOOR AJAR. SHE KNOWS HE will arrive soon. 

Malevolence incarnate; gnashing and snarling, a malignant beast with trauma dripping from its teeth like an ooze, storms through the doorway. 

WELCOME, SHE SAYS, HER FISTS DARING TO TAKE HIM DOWN AND SCREAM her rage, but she knows it will infuse into her skin. She resists with all her might. It is time. Her nostrils flare, and her hands clench. 

He whispers to her in a scratchy husky voice.

My little effete, tender and sickly one, abandoned again? Discarded like a tissue, pathetic ruination. I can’t believe you’ve come back for more! What a time we will have you and me. 

Burden! He screams at her. The weight of his quip tears at her; she skitters backwards. 

Broken! 

He spits and snarls the words, the force throwing her against the bench and onto the ground. 

She crawls in agony from the whips of his words to the bench.

He stands over her and the stench of him makes her want to reach.

No one wants you. 

Your father didn’t want you. 

Your family didn’t want you. 

Your friends don’t want you. 

Interloper! He bellowed. 

You will not make old bones.

You are scarred. 

Who are you fooling?

Who do you think you are?

What a joke. They feel sorry for you, you wretched girl.

He opens the drawer and pulls a long leather belt, worn and torn. 

He slaps it against his thigh, and it makes a thwack sound. 

Do you think you are special? 

Do you believe what you saw was real? 

It’s all in that piteous woeful head. He growls. 

She flinches, a small split tears her lip and blood flows. 

You are unloved and craving like a dirty little beggar. thwack 

You will break. Pity pity pity. thwack

Do you remember what you once were? He bawled. 

The words are drilling down, down and down into her stomach, nails in her gut; she ignores the pain. 

She pulls herself up to the bench; her bloodied lip feels ripped open like an old tent door in a storm. She grabs the cup. She touches her heart and holds her hand over the cup, and tiny pink tendrils run from her fingertips into the tea, and it steeps. 

You are loved, she says softly to the liquid. 

You are forgiven, she urges in a forced whisper. Her tears fall, and her head feels squeezed like a rung towel. 

He whimpers and jumps back; all of the pottery shakes in the cabinets, teacups and beer mugs clink. 

Come, she says kindly. She places the small cup on the table. 

He tilts his head and looks at her, dropping the belt to the ground. 

Come, she says again. 

He doesn’t object and begrudgingly staggers like a drunkard; he sits at the table, his bursting hairy body barely fitting. He scratches at an invisible itch and reaches for the cup, so dainty in his gristly hand. He sips the sweet drink, a sly eye upon the woman, his bruised and black drooped eyelids closing slowly. He yawns. He hiccups, the cup drops. 

Have you poisoned me? He asks in a small voice. 

With snapping and squeaking sounds, he yelps and starts to shrink quickly. Golden rays burst from his fur like sunbeams, and his ugliness and body crumble like old cellophane disintegrating, smaller and smaller. He is as tiny as a baby bird. She swiftly picks him up, placing him in the palm of her hand. He is captured—a warm little ball of fluff and scales. 

SHE WHISPERS HER SECOND PRAYER OF GRACE, SHE BLOWS A SWEET breath upon his scaly body. He closes in on himself, his little body spinning and turning. She sings the song. 

Very slowly, a wing unfurls from his furry body. His dark muck glitters and shivers into a shimmering band of light. Another wing unwraps, and the summer hue of yellow glints around its tiny body. The elytra reflect light around the room, the same colour as the green of the scribe’s eyes. 

He opens an eye in surprise. The little wings start to flap and twirl. He folds in on himself, edges form, and angles jut out. He disappears, and in his place sits a large diamond. She places the diamond in the pouch on her hip. A bird sings, how sweet the sound is. 

THERE IS NO NEED TO RETURN HERE. SHE UNDERSTANDS THIS NOW. NO longer a prisoner, she walks into the night.

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We acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we work, the Kulin peoples. We pay our respect to elders past present and emerging, we acknowledge and and all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders. The land we on which we live, breathe, work, eat and sleep always was and always will be Aboriginal land. KB Eliza supports the

 ULURU STATEMENT FROM THE HEART.

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